PDF Ebook Anatomy of an Affair: How Affairs, Attractions, and Addictions Develop, and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them
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Anatomy of an Affair: How Affairs, Attractions, and Addictions Develop, and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them
PDF Ebook Anatomy of an Affair: How Affairs, Attractions, and Addictions Develop, and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them
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When it comes to adultery, never say, "It won't happen to me."
Just when you think your marriage is safe from adultery is when you may be the most vulnerable. With eye-opening stories, clinical insights, and up-to-date data, Dave Carder reveals what adulterers learned the hard way - and what they want the rest of us to know to save us the pain. Dave Carder, counselor and author of the best-selling Torn Asunder (100,000 in print), is a sought-after expert on issues of adultery. Here he helps you make your marriage adultery-proof by showing you:
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 5 hours and 43 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: christianaudio.com
Audible.com Release Date: September 5, 2017
Language: English, English
ASIN: B074WGX215
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
The actions of others on Social Media has hurt many marriages.When most people marry, they thought they would be immune to betraying their spouse. They never married thinking that they would ever do that, but Dave Carter is a therapist and found that most “did just thatâ€. Thats why he wrote this book. The material in this book will not only help you be more alert to potential marital disaster, it will also help strengthen your marriage.There are many exercises in the book that couples can do together that will help them realize that an affair needs certain components to thrive and also the psychology behind our childhoods and how it relates to all aspects of affairs in life. His chapters get into the very depth of the reader such as; emotional affairs, social media affairs and how the “high†of it can turn into an addiction. He also touched upon digital friendships and how a close-call can sneak up on you at work before one is even aware of what is happening.In the chapter where he talks about digital friendships, he is not suggesting that one cannot have an opposite sex of friendships, but simply reminding us that there is an inherent risk in this kind of relationship. With opposite-sex friends, each of us must be self aware and honest enough to acknowledge whatever mood elevation is occurring with the friendship and promise themselves to not engage in that second level of personal discussions that belongs only within marriage. To do otherwise is to starve the marriage and feed the friendship.There is so much more in this book that I am not mentioning. This is the best book I have ever read on this subject. I have had so many “lightbulb†moments and have underlined so much in his book!! It is now my go-to Bible when the feeling of temptation starts. Even Jesus said it is better to cut off your hand than burn in hell (Matt 5:30). If you read this book with your spouse, you could possibly save your hand.I feel the churches need this book too and should do study groups with it, as it would be an excellent resource for that purpose. Statistics show that Social media accounts for 66% of divorces. Why aren’t the churches having study or support groups about this? Maybe the divorce groups they DO have might be prevented if they used this book!!! I truly believe some marriages could be saved. Hands down, this is the best book I have ever read!!My husband and I have been married 24 years and have been through both physical and emotional affairs. Alot. We are both at fault. But each time we have learned more about our negative faults that were contributing to our marriage and it has made our marriage closer & stronger. Yes, its painful and it took a few falls before we could get better, but with forgiveness, patience, humility and our faith we got through it, but it was still better than divorcing because the “grass is not always greener†on the other side. I used to get mad and throw things but now I have learned to handle my anger in healthier ways that has been more beneficial in our marriage. If we can get through it so can you. I cannot recommend this book enough. If your spouse is a sociopath like Scott Peterson, then run. But if not, this book will help you and your spouse in how to deal with the affair effectively and safeguard your marriage.
The book is spot on with everything it talks about. I felt like i was reading word for word from my life and situation i ended up in. It does explain things but it also brought back a lot of pain for me that i thought i had a handle on but thats because the book tells it like it is!
1.) there were several things in the first few chapters I found very helpful and enlightening2.) wasn’t a fan of all the Christianese but knew going into there’d be that3.) overall I found a worthwhile read especially if you have gone through an affair, the author raises some good points and insights
I am still reading this ebook but wow - so much good information.Thank you Dave Carder. Your life's-work is benefiting many men,even though they may be hesitant to admit it.Great book. Highly Recommend.
This book is a great choice for anyone who is married or in a long term relationship. It is as much about "close call" relationships as actually affairs. As you read through the situations you can see how something that starts innocently enough can go too far really quickly.
Would you like to know how you can protect your marriage and yourself from an affair?It would be smart to talk with people who have committed adultery and learn from their mistakes. It would also be wise to talk with a counselor whose ministry is focused on affair prevention and affair recovery.Dave Carder is the one you would want to talk to. His book Close Calls is one of the best books I've read in the last couple of years. It will help us in our marriages. It will help ministers and church leaders assist couples struggling couples better. It will help sexual strugglers and their spouses to see what contributes to infidelity and take steps toward a healthy marriage.A QUICK SUMMARYA pastor shares insights from his 30 years of working with couples who have had affairs and recovered from affairs. The focus of this book is on affair prevention.The book helps you identify:* What type of person is dangerously attractive to you* The risk and stress factors that contribute to an marriage ripe for an affair* How your past may make you vulnerable to an affair* Positive steps you and your spouse can take to protect your marriageThe book is easy to read. It helps you the big picture and the individual pieces that contribute to an affair. The graphs and diagrams are very helpful. The book pauses at the right times and give you and your spouse and exercise to work through.MINDBLOWER #1: THE DEVELOPMENT OF CLOSE CALLS DIAGRAMPraise be to God who helped Dave come up with this diagram! The diagram is a clear and distinct outline for his book. It helps the reader see the big picture and the key components of an affair. All components need not be present for an affair to happen, but there are reasons people have affairs. There are many parts contributing to an affair, past and present, internally and externally.MINDBLOWER #2: THE DANGEROUS PARTNERThe author says each of us has a Dangerous Partner Profile.* The person we didn't marry because we knew it would be bad for us in the long-run.* The person who appears to meet all of the deficits we bring to marriage.* The person who defies our training, culture, common sense & values.* The person lurking in our subconscious waiting to be found.(Adapted from p. 20)The reader is guided through several exercises to discover his or her Dangerous Partner Profile.We will not act out with this person if our marriage is healthy. But the author's formula for a close call is insightful and pivotal to the book:High-Risk Factors + Stressors + Dangerous Partner = Close CallsThe chart, this chapter on The Dangerous Partner, and this formula are worth the price of the book.WHO SHOULD BUY THIS BOOK?Engaged, newlyweds and married couples are the groups that will get the most out of this book are newlyweds and married couples. There are many exercises in this book designed for couples to go through. This is a perfect book for a marriage retreat weekend. I might also consider it for couples going through premarital counseling, especially if there have been sexual struggles in the past.Couples who have had affairs or close calls will find this book very insightful. A person thinks he or she "falls" into affairs. This book can help a could go backward and ID what contributed to the spousal or marital breakdown.Sexual strugglers and their spouses will find this book hitting close to home. Some couples have gone through affairs. Some worry if their spouse's pornography struggles will lead to an affair. The greatest value to sexual strugglers may be the inventory it takes your through and seeing the pieces that contribute to an affair.Support groups? I'm not sure this is a good book for sexual addiction support groups (at least not the whole thing). The book is best if walked through with a spouse. Support groups will find the first section on Risk Factors to be the most valuable. I do think the leader of the sexual support group or addiction recovery ministry should get this book.--Book Review by Jeff Fisher of [...]
Dont be blind. Arm yourself with what it takes to not just protect and defend your marriage, but to trash the baggage you both brought into it and build the best unit for the two of you ~ no one else. A strong bond you both love and willingly work to keep. Totally worth it! Love this book!
With our sex crazed culture, what are the ingredients for a fulfilling marriage and steps you can take to keep closeness and oneness? Please read! Whether you've been affected by an affair or you want to do everything to prevent that tragedy from every happening in your marriage, its a must read.
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